You need to tell someone something. Do you call or text? It seems like a simple question, but getting it wrong can annoy people, make you look unprofessional, or just create unnecessary awkwardness.
Some people think you should always call for important things. Others think texting is fine for everything. The truth is, it depends. Here's when each makes sense and why it matters.
When You Should Call
There are definitely times when a call is the right choice. Here's when:
Important or Sensitive Conversations
If you're breaking bad news, having a serious conversation, or discussing something emotional, call. Text messages can be misinterpreted, and tone doesn't come through. Plus, important conversations deserve the respect of a real conversation.
This includes things like: ending a relationship, telling someone about a death or illness, discussing problems in a relationship, or having a difficult conversation with a friend or family member. These things need nuance, and that's hard to get in a text.
Exception: If the person has explicitly said they prefer text, or if you're worried about catching them at a bad time, you can text first to ask if they can talk. But the actual conversation should be a call.
Complex Topics That Need Discussion
If you need to explain something complicated, answer questions, or have a back-and-forth discussion, call. Texting back and forth for 20 minutes is annoying and inefficient. A 5-minute call can cover what would take 30 texts.
This includes things like: explaining a problem, planning something complicated, discussing work projects, or anything where you'll need to clarify or answer questions.
Urgent Matters
If something is truly urgent and you need an immediate response, call. Don't text and wait. If it's urgent enough that you need to interrupt someone, it's urgent enough to call.
But be honest with yourself about what's actually urgent. "I need to know what time dinner is" is not urgent. "I'm in the hospital" is urgent. Don't abuse this.
When You Should Text
For most everyday communication, texting is fine. Here's when it makes sense:
Simple Questions or Quick Updates
If you just need a quick answer or want to share a simple update, text. "What time are we meeting?" "Running 5 minutes late." "Did you get my email?" These don't need a whole conversation.
Texting is also great for things that don't need an immediate response. The person can answer when they have a chance, and you're not interrupting their day.
Non-Urgent Stuff
If it's not urgent and doesn't need a conversation, text. This includes things like: sharing a funny meme, asking about weekend plans, checking in casually, or just saying hi.
Texting is less intrusive. People can respond when they want, and you're not demanding their immediate attention for something that can wait.
Confirmations and Logistics
For confirming plans, sharing addresses, sending links, or any logistical information, text is perfect. It's written down so people can refer back to it, and it doesn't need a conversation.
Plus, if someone needs to look up an address or save a link, having it in a text is way more convenient than trying to remember it from a call.
The Gray Areas
Some situations could go either way. Here's how to decide:
Consider the Person
Some people prefer calls, some prefer texts. If you know someone hates phone calls, text them unless it's really important. If someone always calls you, they probably prefer calls. Pay attention to how people communicate with you and match their style when possible.
Consider the Time
Early morning, late night, or during work hours? Text first. If it's urgent, you can call, but give people a heads-up. If it's not urgent, just text and let them respond when they can.
When in Doubt, Text First
If you're not sure, text first. You can always say "Can I call you?" or "Got a minute to talk?" This gives the person a chance to say yes or no, and it's less intrusive than just calling.
Don't Text Important News
If you're sharing important news—good or bad—call. Getting engaged, getting a new job, having a baby, or any major life event deserves a call. Texting feels impersonal for big moments.
Bottom Line
The general rule is: call for important, complex, or urgent things. Text for simple, non-urgent, or logistical things. But also consider the person, the time, and the context.
Most importantly, be considerate. Don't call someone at 6 AM for something that can wait. Don't text someone to break up with them. Use common sense, and when in doubt, text first to ask if they can talk. It's that simple.