Remember when calling someone out of the blue was normal? When you'd pick up the phone, dial a number, and just start talking? Those days are mostly gone, and the rules have changed. What used to be polite is now annoying, and some old-school rules just don't make sense anymore.
But that doesn't mean anything goes. There are still things that are genuinely rude when making phone calls, and some new rules that have popped up. Let's sort through what actually matters now.
What's Actually Rude (Still)
Some things never change. These are still considered rude, and they probably always will be:
Text Before You Call (Most of the Time)
This is the big one. Calling someone without warning, especially during work hours or after 9 PM, is generally considered rude now. A quick text like "Hey, can I call you?" or "Got a minute to talk?" gives the other person a chance to say yes or no.
The exception? If it's actually an emergency, or if you're calling someone who explicitly said "just call me anytime." But for most situations, especially with friends and casual acquaintances, a heads-up is appreciated.
Pro tip: If someone doesn't answer, send a text saying what you needed. Don't just keep calling. They might be busy, and now they know what you wanted to talk about.
Don't Ghost People
If someone calls you and leaves a voicemail, at least acknowledge it. You don't have to call back immediately, but a quick text saying "Got your message, I'll call you back later" or "Can't talk now, what's up?" is better than complete silence.
Same goes for if you see a missed call. If it's from someone you know, it's polite to at least let them know you saw it, even if you can't talk right then.
Respect People's Time
Don't call during obviously bad times (early morning, late night, during dinner). Don't ramble on forever if someone sounds busy. If someone says "I can't talk right now," respect that and don't push.
Also, if you set a time to call someone, actually call at that time. Don't be 30 minutes late or forget entirely. That's just disrespectful.
What's Just Old School (And You Can Ignore)
These rules were important in their day, but times have changed. You don't need to follow them anymore:
"You Must Identify Yourself Immediately"
Your grandparents probably taught you to say "Hello, this is [name] calling for [person]." But now, caller ID does that job. You can just say "Hey, it's me" or even skip the introduction if you talk regularly. Obviously, this doesn't apply to professional calls.
"Always Answer the Phone"
Back in the day, not answering was rude because you never knew who was calling. Now? Everyone has caller ID and voicemail. It's totally fine to let a call go to voicemail, especially if you're busy or don't recognize the number. The person can leave a message or text you.
"Never Use Speakerphone"
Speakerphone used to be considered rude because the sound quality was terrible. Now, with good phones and the need for hands-free calling, it's totally normal. Just make sure the other person knows you're on speaker, especially if someone else is in the room.
Professional vs. Personal Calls
The rules are different depending on who you're calling. With friends and family, things are pretty casual. But for work calls, you should still follow more traditional etiquette:
Professional Calls
Always identify yourself clearly. Be on time. Have an agenda or at least know what you want to discuss. Don't call during lunch hours unless it's urgent. Keep it focused and brief. These rules still matter.
Personal Calls
Much more relaxed. Text first if it's not urgent, but calling to chat is fine. You don't need a formal greeting. The main thing is just being considerate of the other person's time and situation.
Modern Rules That Actually Matter
Here are some new rules that have emerged with modern technology:
Video Calls vs. Regular Calls
Always ask before switching to video. Some people aren't camera-ready, and video calls require more bandwidth and attention. Don't just turn on your camera without warning.
Group Calls
If you're adding someone to a call, let everyone know. Don't just merge calls and surprise people. Also, mute yourself if you're not talking and there's background noise.
Don't Multitask Obviously
People can tell when you're typing, eating, or doing something else. If you're going to be distracted, just let the call go to voicemail or say you'll call back later.
Don't Call When You Could Text
If you just need a quick answer to a simple question, text it. Don't call someone just to ask "What time is the meeting?" or "Did you get my email?" Save calls for things that actually need a conversation.
Bottom Line
Phone call etiquette has definitely changed, but the core principles are the same: be considerate, respect people's time, and communicate clearly. The difference is that technology has given us more ways to be considerate—like texting first or letting calls go to voicemail.
Don't stress about following every old-school rule. The people you're calling probably don't care if you identify yourself immediately or if you use speakerphone. What they do care about is whether you're being respectful of their time and situation. Focus on that, and you'll be fine.